Well, you may or may not know, but I just completed my art AS level! (One subject down, 3 more to go. COME ON.). Yep, my exams have only just started – I know I’ve been stressing about for, oh, only like FOREVER on here, and being utterly boring and slow at replying and hopeless at commenting on things. And theres still a month of this left, which sucks, but I promise, come June, WE WILL CELEBRATE.
So, yeah, I did have a point there – since February I’ve been completing the exam half of my art course, for which I chose the brief of local produce (I’ve got to get food in there somewhere, its literally my only talent). As a final pie(ce) (AHAHAHA I ONLY JUST CAME UP WITH THAT PUN), I managed to fanangle my way into making a .gif video of making this rhubarb pie. Or galette, if you will. I also spent 8 hours making a series of lenticular images from some of the stills.
Now, I don’t think I can technically show you the video until it’s all been examined, but it’s gotta be the most dramatic ones as of yet. Seriously. and it took the LONGEST TIME TO MAKE EVER because normally, I have a friend around to help me (read as: I convince my friend they’ll get cake if they help) by just standing there and pressing the shutter button. It’s a simple job, but when your camera can only take pictures on self timer in a burst of 10 photos at a time, and your hands are covered in floury pastry mixture, the job doesn’t seem so easy anymore. So anyways, you can be looking out for that 5 minute rhubarb thang sometime in June. For now, I have photos and a recipe!
I went to the allotment with my dad to take photos of him picking the rhubarb, I literally hadn’t been there in about a year (although I’m constantly eating all the stuff that gets cycled back from there). It was nice, apart from the centipede thing and worms (no weird larvae/caterpillar things pleaseeee. Spiders? fine. A caterpillar? I am already 100000 miles away freaking out), but made me a bit nostalgic.
When I was a lot younger, and the internet hadn’t stolen a third of my life, I would spend a few hours there every few weekends making ‘potions’ (aka putting a bunch of my mum’s flowers into a bucket with water and stirring it around with a stick. I don’t think my mum was too pleased by that), eating tonnes of runner beans and raspberries straight from the plant, and running around the place with my bro filling plastic water bottles with flowers.
annd now I have no idea how to end this post
In a large bowl, stir together flour and sugar. Throw in the butter and rub in with your fingertips until you get a kinda damp sand texture going on. Stir together the cream cheese and water/juice, add to the bowl and mix in until the pastry comes together in a ball. Flatten into a disk, plastic-wrap it and chill for at least 30 minutes.
Remove the leaves from the rhubarb and discard. Wash the rhubarb, then cut each stalk down the middle lengthwise Chop into ~2" pieces, chuck into a large bowl with the rest of the rhubarb filling ingredients. Toss to coat and leave to macerate.
Take a piece of parchment paper, cut it so that it fits a large cookie tray. Place the parchment onto your work surface and dust with flour. Unwrap the chilled pastry, dust with flour, and roll out into a 12 to 14" circle (it doesn't matter if it gets too large for the paper, you'll fold it in later).
Pile the rhubarb filling mixture into the center of the pastry (leave as much of the juice behind as possible), spreading it out and leaving a 2" border.
Fold the pastry in (brush with the leftover juice from the filling, to help it to stick together). Brush the pastry with buttermilk/milk/cream and sprinkle the whole thing with raw sugar. Dot with butter and chill for 30 minutes.
Bake in an oven preheated to 180 degrees for 35-45 minutes until golden brown and bubbling.